It’s been 11 days since the last time I wrote something. I feel the effects of not being able to share my feelings. It’s like I’ve been keeping them bottled up and I’m almost to at a complete system overload. I know that life is alway so busy, but I really need to find time to do the things that make me better for myself and everyone around me. I have to be honest I feel overwhelmed with everything and I haven’t done a great job in the past week and a half at creating space for me to be mindful. Last night I decided that I needed to regain my clarity. Two weekends ago my kids turned six and had two separate parties and had family staying with us. Then last Monday and Tuesday our son woke up in the middle of the night. Wednesday and Thursday were late nights followed with early mornings. I’m not saying boo who poor me, but maybe it’s time for a vacation from the controlled madness of life. On top of the madness Saturday at 3 am a drunk driver crashed into three cars in front of our building and I got woken up to the noise. I witnessed three people get out of the car, throw liquor bottles in the trunk and make a run for it. I called the police and made sure to speak to the police. This kind of thing scares me that people still don’t do things that are responsible and don’t care about themselves or others. Sunday night was my breaking point. I’m overwhelmed with everything that I have on my plate. Today I’m going to try to unwind my mind and create space. I need to regain my positivity, I need to find my balance today.
I’ve made great strides but I need to do so much better. I need to handle the shit better and control my feelings better. I can’t let my passion and my past control my today!